“All my life I had not chosen, had not decided. Now I am making
a decision, I choose life. I shall live because there are a few people I want
to stay with for the longest possible time and because I have duties to
discharge. It is not my concern whether or not life has meaning. If I am unable
to forgive, I shall try to forget. I shall live by force and cunning.”
Throughout Saleh’s book, the narrator wants to reintegrate back
into his society, yet there is always something missing, he never quite
manages. As a reflection almost, we see the figure of Mustafa Saeed, who is
respected in his community and has a family- despite his past. It is important
to speculate about the reasons for this difference, for both have been affected
directly by the colonial influence through their education. In the very last
passage of the book, the emotionally displaced narrator finally decides to
live, and for a second in time, decides to live for life itself, not for
morality, but for the purpose of existence itself, his existential purpose.
Does he become a psychopath like Mustafa Saeed, who it can be argued was an
emotionally turbulent character? We cannot of course decide within the exact
context of the book, but Mustafa Saeed reintegrated into his land after the
killing of his wife- the abandonment of morality. Perhaps the same future lies
for the narrator.
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